


fentanyl

by irlmono



Series: kindergarten student council au. [2]
Category: Kindergarten (Video Games 2017 2019)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Anorexia, Bullying, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21704092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlmono/pseuds/irlmono
Summary: if i am a ghost now why still can’t i fly?
Series: kindergarten student council au. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564351
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	fentanyl

The sound of clattering fills the lunch room, and many pairs of eyes dart over to where Felix sits. His lunch tray slides slightly as he drops it. He stands, his teeth clenched and his hands reaching up to mess with his hair. Lily can see the tears gathering in his eyes and notices how his hand twitches slightly, she can tell that he’s scared. Nervous. Sad. Felix doesn’t give away many signs when he feels upset, but Lily has known him long enough to tell. He pushes the tray away further, as if disgusted by its contents and gives a shaky smile to his ‘friends’ sitting at the table with him, Lily, Cindy, Penny, Ted, Billy, Nugget and Kidd. “I’ll be back,” he murmurs quietly, he’s always been soft spoken, but this is different, there’s a sad, bitter edge to his voice. Felix walks away, and when he thinks that no one can see him, he starts running, his platform boots clattering against the floor. But Lily notices the urgency in his footsteps. 

The table is quiet among the many other tables shrieking and laughing and having fun. Cindy looks over at Lily, their rivalry forgotten for the time being, and Lily nods, thinking about whether or not she should go after him. Eventually, she just sighs, and stabs her fork into her food begrudgingly. After a few long seconds, Ted breaks the silence, and everything goes back to normal, everyone is happy and smiling again, joking around except Lily, Cindy and Penny are tense and on edge from the previous events. ‘What if’ thoughts fill Lily’s head. “What if” he’s in trouble? “What if” those terrible people are harassing him again? “What if”-

Lily stands up, gesturing to Cindy and Penny, and they stand as well. “Where are you guys going?” Kidd asks, and Lily points her thumb over to the hallway, “we’re gonna go check on Felix,” she replies.

Kidd clicks his tongue slightly, a habit he only does when he’s annoyed. “What’s the point? He’s probably only doing it for attention.” Cindy narrows her eyes at Kidd, who shrugs his shoulders and glares down at his food.

The three of them walk away from the table and out into the hallway. A quiet crying can be heard from where they stand, and Penny looks at Lily and Cindy in alarm. “Felix.” Cindy grits her teeth and begins walking faster, a concerned expression dominating her facial features. As they get closer to the boy’s bathroom, the wailing gets louder, and they can hear retching and choking noises coming from inside. Just before they can enter, Penny looks at them with a worried expression, scared that they’ll get in trouble. But Cindy just rolls her eyes, grabs the blonde’s hand and pushes open the door. 

The first thing that Lily notices is that the mirror is shattered and a shard of glass lies on the basin, a few specks of crimson blood coating the surface of it. Her heart pounds and a breath gets caught in her throat, and she moves away from the sink in alarm. Cindy looks at her strangely before noticing the mirror, and she pales slightly, then calls out in a small voice over the violent sobbing and retching, “Felix? Are you okay?”

The sobbing stutters for a second, then starts back up louder. Then they notice the loud banging noises. Cindy rushes over to the stalls, followed by Penny and Lily, and skims over the locks on the doors to see which one is locked. She stops when she sees one that is red, and knocks on the stall door. “Felix, honey, can you open the door?” She can tell that Felix heard and listened by the way his harsh breathing slows for a second, then starts back up. He seems to calm slightly at Cindy’s voice. The lock clicks, but the door doesn’t open, so Cindy grips the gap between the door and the wall and pulls to open it from the outside.

Felix looks horrible- tears stain his face, his eyeliner runs as he sobs, his cries loud, raw, broken. There’s blood coating the side of his head, and blood on the wall. The banging must have been him slamming his head against the wall. Penny gasps, reaching out to comfort Felix, but he jerks backwards, almost slipping but Penny grabs his sleeve to yank him forwards. He makes a small noise, a cross between heartbroken and scared, almost like a scream, but it dies down in his throat, making it more like a whimper. Lily can see vomit on his shirt, and her lip quivers, a lightbulb seems to go off in her head. Felix almost never eats, he wears baggy sweatshirts, whenever he doesn’t he looks deathly skinny. 

Felix suddenly grips both sides of his head and lets out another scream, raw and genuinely angry. Lily stumbles back, Cindy’s eyes widen slightly and Penny doesn’t move, too shocked to do anything. “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE!!!” Felix screams, his crying starting up again, this time louder and angrier. Cindy moves forward, “Hey, Felix, what’s wrong??” she asks, and Felix lets out a sarcastic laugh. “What’s not wrong with me?” he mutters through tears. He brings his hand back behind his head and hits it against the wall, hard, and does it again. Then again. And again. And again. 

Cindy takes his hand, “Fe, it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.” she offers him a smile, and Felix yanks his hand out of her grip, clenching it into a fist and slamming it against the wall again. Lily takes a step forward, her gaze directed at his hand. The skin is torn on his knuckles, and the wounds bleed, the blood running down his hand. Purple and black bruises are forming on his hands. Her breathing stutters and she looks over at Penny. She’s frozen on the spot, almost crying.

“Felix?” Cindy takes a deep breath, “when was the last time you ate, like, properly?”

Felix stops hitting the wall, and turns to Cindy, “five- five days ago,” he chokes out. “Why?” Cindy asks, taking Felix’s hand again and grasping it softly between hers. 

“‘Cause- I’m stupid and fat and ugly and everyone fucking hates me and I just want to die so what’s the point why can’t I just fucking die already-“

“Hey, Fe, stop. You’re not stupid, or ugly, or fat, and no one hates you.” Cindy says softly, quietly. Lily and Penny both move forward towards Felix, Lily places her hand on Felix’s back and rubs gently, Penny does the same. 

“What about Kidd?” he mumbles through sobs, although they seem to be calming slightly.

“I’m sure Kidd doesn’t hate you. Even though you guys don’t get along, he cares for you, I’m sure of it. He just has a hair time showing it.” Lily chimes in, pulling him into a hug. Penny and Cindy join in, and they both hug him as well.

Everything is okay.


End file.
